You Can Call Me Saucy

Random Friday

It’s Friday!!!! This has been both a long week & flew by at the same time. Anyone else feel that way? I’m super excited for this weekend! FF & I are going to the Drive In tonight (our 3rd time this summer – yippee!) to see Inception. I’m prepared to have my mind blown – I hope I’m not let down! Tomorrow we have a wedding of some friends FF met while living in North Carolina (who are originally from here & getting married here. Although I wish we were going to NC so I could meet some of my lovely blog heroes like Beth Anne & Jenny. Maybe in April?). JD gets baptized on Sunday so we’ll have a little celebratory BBQ after church where I’ll get to see some friends & family I haven’t seen in a while. A busy weekend but it should be a lot of fun!

I’ve still been having a lot of problems with my diabetes this week. I’m disappointed to say that I will NOT be running a 5K in two weeks as planned. My feet are just not cooperating right now. So I plan on continuing to train & taking my diuretic and hopefully will be able to run one towards the end of September. I won’t lie, I’m VERY disappointed but I know my health & the safety of my appendages needs to come first. I’m not giving up yet though! My sugars have been running high & I’m asymptomatic so after a week I’m thinking it’s not an upcoming  infection. I’ll probably tweak my basals a bit over the next few days to try to iron things out (running in the 200s will NOT lower my A1C – must remember that), although my fasting blood glucose this morning was 123 (woot! It’s been over 200 for days now). Quitting smoking? Not going so well. I’ve been in control of my own packs of cigarettes & my impulse control really sucks. FF is going to back to rationing them for me this weekend. I hope that helps!

So now that you’re updated, I present to you my favorite things from the interwebs this week:

Jacquie over at Typical Type 1 wrote a post this week that really struck a chord with me. It’s a modern day fairy tale of sorts about diabetes and all about a bunch of people I am proud to consider friends & confidantes – the DOC. Even if you don’t have diabetes (ESPECIALLY if you don’t have diabetes) this is a MUST READ. What are you waiting for?! Read it here.

This video at Funny or Die is for every skanky girl out there who thinks it’s hot to stand on stage and let some dirty guy grind all over your shit. This video should teach you a lesson. And if you’re not a skanky girl but need a good laugh anyway? You should check out the video too.

In case I’ve never told you (or you weren’t paying attention), I was a cheerleader in high school. All four years. Captain my senior year (til my mother made me quit because I was a naughty girl – that’s a WHOLE other post…maybe). It always pissed me off when people said that cheerleading wasn’t a sport. We throw people in the air and do hours of stair climbing and hundreds of crunches and sometimes 6 hour practices. Screw everyone that said it’s not a sport because it is! Ok, off my soapbox – sorry about that. Really the point to this story is that this cheerleader from Oklahoma City tackled a criminal at the mall & held him til police could arrest him. If she wasn’t in good shape could she do that? I don’t think so!

Ok females, hold on to your utes for this one. I’d been seeing tweets about this blog for a few days so I finally checked it out. It’s called Mila’s Daydreams and oh.em.gee! Words can’t describe the cuteness so just go check it out!

Lastly, Wednesday night we had one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve seen in a while. It was misting (not quite raining – but almost) and the storm moved in as the sun went down making the sky this crazy lovely orange color. The local newspaper tweeted this picture. Now you all know why I love living in Vermont! It’s beautiful like this ALL. THE. TIME. Just wait til I start posting foliage pics 🙂

Well, that’s it for today. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! XO


Duck Fiabetes

This is my favorite phrase. I found it at LOL Diabetes a few months ago. I have it hanging at my desk AND on my fridge at home. I often times use it in a hashtag on Twitter. In case you don’t know what this means or don’t get the joke – switch the first letter of each word and what do you get? Yeah, now you know!

With high sugars, nausea, headaches & big, fat swollen feet this is EXACTLY how I feel about my current situation. I need to figure out a way to get out of this funk. Any suggestions? XO

D Feast Friday – Low Carb & High Protein

I heard about this wonderful idea from Karen & Lorraine. I’ve been very much enjoying the Momma’s Munchies I’ve been doing with Lindsey & I feel like this is a great opportunity to connect on that same level with the DOC. My recipe for today is something that’s evolved over time. It was the first thing I ever made for FF (who in case you didn’t know – also stays away from those evil carbs!). We were headed out on a road trip to NH (so I could meet his family for the first time – yikes!) I had made some mini cheesecakes for the party but I knew we would need breakfast too. So I found a quick & easy recipe for a quiche. I made it and we ate it and it was…ok. It definitely had potential but needed some work. A few weeks later I suggested it again and he asked, “Do you think you can make it without a crust?” HA! I’ll make it without a crust – sure! While I’m at it? I’m switching the eggs to just egg whites. Let’s make this thing healthy & delicious! Well, second time around and we were goners. We have this quiche at least once a month and it’s a hit whenever we bring it to brunch parties or serve it to out of town guests. I should warn you however, I don’t use a lot of measuring devices. I work more in handfuls & pinches. So without further ado…

Choose Your Own Adventure Quiche

Egg Whites (I use the kind in a carton – soooo much easier. We rarely have “real” eggs in the house. My guess at how much? 1/2 cup? 3/4 cup?)

12oz (or so) of meat of your choice (we love using breakfast sausage – one regular package. We’ve also tried it with bacon. Both are delicious!)

8oz (or so)of veggies of your choice (we use mushrooms. We’ve also tried spinach and peppers. Again, totally interchangeable based on your tastes)

Shredded Cheese (I use a handful. Use whatever you’d like – Mozzarella, Taco Blend – it all works!)

Milk – just need a little bit. The original recipe called for half & half. I tried it with the light stuff & it was fine. Now I just use my low carb milk – feel free to use whatever you would like)

Spices (again, base this on your tastes. We use Cayenne pepper – but just a little because spice & I are NOT friends!)

I’m going to write the directions for how I cook using sausage & mushrooms. I know you’ll all be able to make the substitutions for yourself where necessary

Preheat the oven to 350°

Brown sausage & mushrooms (I usually sprinkle a little Cayenne on them while cooking)

While meat & veggies are cooking I mix the milk, egg whites, cheese & a bit more Cayenne (sounds like a lot but it’s not – remember, I don’t like heat)

Once the meat & veggies are cooked I pour them into a greased (I use Pam cooking spray) 9″ pie plate. I pour the egg mixture on top (this is how to tell if you have enough eggs – it should just barely cover the meat & veggie mixture)

Bake at 350° for about half an hour. You’ll know when it’s done – the eggs will be fluffy and firm

Slice & enjoy!

I don’t have the nutritional info for this as it’s something I adapted to suit my dietary needs (hell, I can’t even tell you how much eggs to use or how long to cook it!). I can tell you the way I make it, it’s low in carbs & calories and high in protein and good fats. It’s also delicious & soooo versatile. We’ve done a bacon & spinach quiche (I used the ranch dressing powder packets for my spice) and a veggie one (mushrooms, peppers, spinach etc. with sesame oil as the “spice”). It’s always well received and I like it because I can make it ahead of time & just reheat it in the over (or take leftovers to work!) I hope you all enjoy this recipe as much as FF & I do! XO


Meant to Be

I’m a big believer in signs. Whenever I’m unsure of something, I can never just listen to my gut. I have to have a sign that tells me what to do. Strange I know, but hey – so am I! 🙂 I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with FF lately (what else is new?!) and I realize I’ve been given signs my whole life that I was destined to be with him. I thought I’d share a few with you.

My ex bf (whom shall be called…Ginger – I like this nickname making thing!) used to never call girls “hot.” Instead he would refer to them as “fit.” He was very much attracted to the skinny girls who either were naturally blessed with tiny muscular frames or spent a good deal of time at the gym. I never really fit into that category before. Until now (P.S. – I am NOT naturally blessed which you know if you’re a regular reader – I spend A LOT of time at the gym!). And now that I can be considered “fit” there’s only one person who deserves me – the wonderful man who pushed me to take charge of my health & my body. So my ex liked them “fit” and now FF has a better defined, more toned me. That kinda sounds like karma to dear old Ginger but hey – I am MUCH better off 🙂

FF’s mom lives in NH. Growing up we visited family that lived in NH. Every time we went there, we always made a pit stop at the same store off the interstate. When FF took me to meet his mom for the first time – guess where she lives? Right around the corner from that store! Another favorite stop in NH was a truck stop right over the border – which is right around the corner from where FF grew up! Ok, maybe you don’t think it’s a sign, but I do!

I’ve always loved music & dancing. FF suggesting an African Dance Class for our first date had me swooning already. I always imagined I would meet someone like my father who loves to dance & doesn’t need to be dragged out to the dance floor. This is definitely the case with FF – if anything he drags me out! We have different tastes in music but we’re able to appreciate the other one’s interests. I saw a live show right before I met FF for the first time. A year to the day later they were back in town. We went together and FF loved the music. I was shocked as it was a Celtic rock band and he abhors bagpipes but when we got home he asked for my CDs so he could put the music on his iPod. Similar interests AND a sign. I like it!

We’ve both been married & divorced. We did the “high school sweetheart” thing and it ended pretty much the same way for both of us. We were cheated on and we got divorced. I guess that story isn’t all that uncommon these days but it’s still a sign to me.

We’re undecided about children. Neither one of us has ever been in a rush to have them nor are we ruling it out (trust me, I’ve been working on a post about this for MONTHS – it’s a very touchy subject for me). We talk about our possible child(ren) a lot (I decided last night I would decorate a child’s bathroom with a monkey theme) and even how we assume we’d have a baby girl. The fact that we can discuss this and not freak out is a pretty decent sign for me.

FF’s mom has diabetes. He came in knowing what to expect and how to handle the situation with my health. Having diabetes is a HUGE part of my daily life and who I am and the fact that I met a man who had some experience in this area is a Godsend – and a sign 🙂

The biggest sign I can think of is indeed major. You know how when you’re a little girl you dream of your wedding? Even though you don’t really picture a groom in those daydreams, he’s clearly there. When BDNF & I got married, I suppose I knew it wasn’t him I had envisioned in my dreams. I just figured that’s the way things work. Now that I’ve spent the time and shared this amazing love with FF I know it’s him I’ve dreamt of at the end of that aisle. Standing barefoot in the ocean in a white button up shirt and khakis, he’s looking at me & smiling as if to say, “What took you so long?!” It’s been him in my dreams all along! And that my friends is the only sign I need. XO

Random Friday

First of all, thank you to everyone for your concern and support with my feet issues this week. I went to the doctor yesterday and I was put on a diuretic to get the swelling down. He said there was a lot of fluid but attributes it to….you guessed it – heat & exercise! He’s running a liver & kidney panel just to check and also ordered an echocardiogram to rule out any heart/circulation issues. All in all I feel much better and I appreciate my doctor being so thorough to make me feel at ease. Thanks to Mom for offering to come with me and FF for making sure he got out of work early enough to be there. I also appreciate all the kind words and support from Adriana, Bea, Karen & Sarah. Thanks for dealing my drama – I tend to go a little over the top when I’m scared!

Just an update to Tuesday’s post…I said I was going to update my progress every Friday on the goals I created. Nothing much has changed this week so the first update will be next Friday. (This is also due to the fact that i gave an update on everything and then accidentally deleted it. I’m too pissed off to retype it all. Sorry!)

Now for the real purpose of Random Friday – some of my favorite things I discovered this week:

Gregg over at The Lame Sauce is raising money to kick cancer’s ass! For every $5 you donate you get an entry to win an ORIGINAL 12X24 MULTICOLOR painting. You’d be crazy not to help. A great cause and the chance to win something gorgeous? What are you waiting for?! Donate today!

This guy spots a double rainbow and is completely incredulous – and hysterical!

Jewel Karaoke – Funny or Die has Jewel in costume (bad wig, fake nose & all!) and has her sing her own songs at a karaoke bar to see people’s reactions. I found this hilarious!

Awkward Family Pet Photos – need a suggestion on how to work your pet skunk or snake into a family photo? Look no further

FF & I caught the series premiere of Rizzoli & Isles on TNT this week. IT’s like Criminal Minds/Bones/Crossing Jordan/Law & Order & CSI had a baby. We’re going to check out next week’s episode but we’re not sure if this will be making its way onto the DVR rotation. Although, pretty much anything beats summer reruns 🙂

A Father who stands up for his beliefs – Someone tweeted about this blog (@nuckingfutsmama) so I went for a read. After they received some terrible news about their unborn baby’s birth defect, a difficult choice was made. See how this father stood up to the people who told his wife she was a sinner! This had me stunned and in tears. And now? His wonderful wife has posted her side of things. This is a MUST READ – but please have the tissues handy (don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

That’s all for this week. I have a very special 3 year old’s birthday party tomorrow (with ponies!) and FF are I volunteering at the Vermont Brewer’s Fest tonight and tasting tomorrow! Sunday is Not Getting Out of Bed Day. What are your plans for this weekend?


I had my regular endocrinology appointment last week. It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. First off, I didn’t see my regular endo. Apparently when I called to double check my appointment time they discovered she wasn’t going to be in that week. So since she was scheduling out into November, I saw a different doctor because it had already been six months since my last appointment. Plus I was anxious to get my A1C test results since this would let me know where I was at with MDI (hadn’t had an A1C checked since I came off the Omnipod). I went in and went through with the normal (weight, height, blood pressure, pulse). My weight went up 3lbs but honestly, I’m 5’8″ and now weigh 144 pounds. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Plus in the last six months I have been working out A LOT (at this point I am weight training 5X a week, running 3x and about to start some serious core workouts 2x a week and checking out a Zumba class – go #sweatbetes!). So 3lbs? Eh, it’s all muscle 🙂 My blood pressure & pulse was back to the range it was when I was diagnosed (90/50 – on the low side but that’s normal for me – and my pulse is a little quick but also normal for me!). They downloaded my meter. Then the bombshell. Let me preface by saying I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately where what I dream about happens (let’s hope last night’s serial killer dream is an exception to that rule). Last appointment I was at 7.5 – decent but I knew I could do better. I dreamt the morning of my appointment that I was at 7.2. My goal is 6.5 but to come off the pump and drop my A1C I would be thrilled – no such luck. 7.8. Still not terrible but I KNOW I can do better! We talked about my middle of the night lows and the dawn phenomenon. We discusses switching from Lantus to Levemir (I currently split my large dose of Lantus into two doses for ease. The thinking is I would do better on a 12 hour insulin instead of a 24.) This sounds good in theory but why has this never been brought up before. I have ALWAYS split my Lantus dose and I have always had problems with middle of the night and morning sugars. I’m feeling very resistant to change. I feel like I keep making little changes and I’m not seeing the results I want. But as long as the doctors that I trust keep telling me to change, I will do so.

So to go along with the changes being made by the doctors, there are a lot of changes I’ve been wanting(needing) to make for myself and my diabetes care. So once again, I am laying all my goals out on the table. Any input, motivation or support is appreciated. Here’s what I vow to do in order to see changes before my next appointment (CDE on September 7th)

Change lancet regularly– Like I’m the only person that is terrible about this? It’s such a pain (figuratively AND literally). I know you’re supposed to change for every test but my goal is to change it twice a week to start. I’m thinking Monday mornings and Thursday nights. We’ll see how this goes.

Get a CGM – I’ve done my trial. I’ve picked the one I want (Dexcom SEVEN Plus). I have the paperwork. Now I just have to fill it out & go through the approval process. I think part of what’s holding me back is I know once I get used to it I’m going to want to go back on the pump. I don’t know why necessarily that it would be a bad thing, I guess financially I am scared as well as I don’t know if I want to be hooked up to TWO machines. I need to at least have the paperwork done and be in the approval phase by September. One step at a time right?

Exercise – I’ve been doing soooo well with this! My weight training is going well. I’m on Week 3 (skipping ahead to Week 4 tonight!) of Couch to 5K. I”m going to be doing ab workouts at home the two nights a week I don’t run. I’m checking out a Zumba class next week that my friend teaches. I’m in the best shape of my life and you know what? After all that bitching about needing motivation months ago? I’m such a baby. Exercise IS indeed addictive and I am LOVING all the changes in my body. As far as exercise related goals I hope to stick to my training regimen as well as run a 5K on August 15th

Diet – I haven’t been doing such a great job in this department. I’ve found adding running to my workouts is causing some lows (trying now to be within goal AND eat a PB sandwich before workouts now – seems to help). I”m trying to limit cereal for breakfast to 3x a week and the other (weekdays) eat a double fiber english muffin with PB & a fiber yogurt. On the weekends I don’t normally do breakfast but I’m going to try to eat eggs & meat if I’m so inclined. I need to limit my snacking AND make better choices (maybe I shouldn’t keep change around so I can’t hit the vending machine!). I’m a boredom eater so it’s tough.  I’m also picky. So I’m trying to substitute – instead of chips & chocolate I’m trying to eat pickles, bologna rollups, apples, pepper strips & dressing etc. I also need to NOT use the weekend as an excuse to eat anything I want. Lord, help me

Quit smoking – this is coming along! I can make a pack last me over 3 days right now. I think it might take a while to get all the way to zero cigarettes a day but as far as I’m concerned, every step closer is better than nothing.

A1C of 6.5 – This is the big one! I hope that if I can stick to the goals above, I should be able to hit this goal hopefully by my November appointment. And I hope to stay there for one year – AT LEAST!

These are my short term (yet long term) goals. I have some other long term diabetes goals too like becoming a mentor (paperwork has been submitted – just waiting to hear when they need me!), doing a JDRF walk, attending a conference & becoming much more active in the DOC. For now, I am dedicating the next two months to committing to these goals and following through. I plan on updating my progress every Friday during my Random Friday post. So there you have it. Next week come back to read my review (no compensation – the complete truth!) of the new BD Nano needles. Until then! XO

Momma’s Munchies 07/12/10

Thanks to LCW over at Waking UP Williams, this week’s theme is Pasta! I LOVE pasta – however, my blood sugar does not. So today I’m posting my favorite pasta recipe which isn’t really pasta at all. May I present the creation thought of by FF & I…Pastaless Spaghetti!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic


1 package Italian sausage (6-8 links. Use Sweet or Hot – or a mixture for more fun!)

1lb ground beef

1 large can mushroom stems & pieces

1 jar pasta sauce (I like Hunt’s No Sugar Added for even LESS carbs!)

Fry the meat in a frying pan until cooked all the way through.

Add the can of mushrooms (be sure to drain them first!)

Mix in the pasta sauce.

Add some parmesan cheese and voila – all of the flavor with non of the carbs!

Enjoy! XO

I’m a Superfan!

A little over a month ago you may recall me using social networking in order to win a contest. Rickina at Stick Me Designs was looking to build her Facebook Fan page and put her beautiful products on the line. The person who helped get her the most fans (using Facebook & Twitter) would be rewarded with well over $100 in merchandise. I had just discovered her online store through Adriana and I was positively drooling in anticipation. I looked at FF and said, “I’m going to win this competition!” I posted Facebook status updates begging my friends to become a fan. I did the same via Twitter AND my blog. It all paid off because ::drumroll:: I won!!!!! So, to really thank Rickina, I wanted to share what I won. This is also to thank all of you who helped me win.

What Rickina does is something special. There’s such a niche here that few people have taken advantage of. I deal with needles & test strips & insulin & blood glucose readings every day – as do millions of Americans (and millions more world wide). The road we travel is bumpy and winding and there is no end in sight. So, anything that can make caring for yourself and your diabetes seem not quite so bad is welcome. Carrying my supplies in a Stick me Designs Deluxe Bag helps me with this. It’s cute & sleek and everything is one place! I don’t have insulin pens in one place, glucometer in another, used sharps somewhere else. It’s ALL TOGETHER! That in and of itself is a timesaver. Plus, this bag is sooooo cute! Here are some pics (please excuse the blurriness – my actual camera is not working so well right now so I had to use my phone – sorry!):

Cute, stylish AND functional!

 The package I received from Rickina came like this:

Holy crap!

It was all wrapped in some nice cellophane paper and had a nice handwritten note attached

Nothing says customer service like a handwritten note!

So inside the box I also received two of her small bags (I LOVE the patterns!), a t-shirt (she’s working on her own line of D t-shirts – this one said, “Got Insulin?” – how cute!), some Bioflip containers (for holding used test strips – genius!), a beautiful bracelet (see it here. She kindly resized it for me because I was wrong about my wrist size and I can’t take a picture of it while it’s on!) and a couple sugar free lollipops (yummy!)

Bioflip – even this is cute!
These patterns are AWESOME!


So now that you’ve seen how great her stuff is, let me tell you how great Rickina is. First off, she let me interview her for this post – shaweet! Secondly, she listens when her customers ask for something. I told her I was going to start training for a 5K (using Couch to 5K – started last night! Rough!) and I needed something stylish AND functional to hold all my “stuff” (glucometer, phone, water, emergency sugar etc.). She is currently working on something and I know a certain someone that is pumped to be a “guinea pig” for it! Also, I mentioned to her a need for something to hold used sharps. I have sharps containers at home and at work but when I’m on the go it’d be nice to have them in one place – kind of like the Bioflips. So, she’s also working on that! How awesome?! Below, read the answers to some other questions I had for her:
How long ago did you start Stick Me Designs?
I started SMD back in 2007.
What provoked your interest in creating diabetes accessories for PWDs?

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant with my son Ace. It was July, 3 days before my birthday…and my glucose tolerance came back way above normal. Hello Diabetes. Once I got over myself and accepted this change I started paying attention to that horrible black case that came with my ultra slim…it did nothing for my self esteem and was a bit embarrasing.I vowed to find a more upbeat colorful version. Only thing I found was navy blue. I then set out to make my own. And then I thought maybe someone else would like one too, when I asked my new tudiabetes friends a few wanted the one I sewed myself! I knew at that point I was on to something.

Where do you get your design ideas from?

As far as designs, I love handbags and the function of well-made ones. I’ll think of a design sketch it or put a sample together. Then I take it to my husband,customers,fans, followers and see what kind of reaction I get.  If it’s good and they express a need or want for it, it’s a go!

 Any insights into what the future holds for new products & designs?
I’d like to move the Stick me brand into a full collection of diabetes lifestyle gear. From goodies for the kiddos, to awareness smart sarcastic tees, to classy handbags, to small little bags and accessories. All with the active PWD in mind!
So thanks Rickina for everything – for all you do, all you create and all of us whom you help feel a little more classy in our disease. Do you or someone you know have diabetes? Check out Rickina’s online store and pick up a gift for yourself or someone you love! XO
**My gift was already received when I wrote this post. I was not compensated for praising Rickina’s work – I did so of my own volition because I think what she does is great**

A Letter to Myself

I saw Joanna & Tiffany discussing this on Twitter and I immediately knew I wanted in! They’re doing a blog hop that asks you to write a letter to your younger self. At any age & for any reason. So I’m going back to what was easily the most difficult time in my life. It was three years ago and I had a new heartbreaking diabetes diagnosis, a marriage in shambles and a sister who had everything I wanted while my life was falling apart. I made it through alive (and better than ever if you ask me!) but there are definitely some things I know now that I wish someone would have told me then. So, I’ll take it upon myself to do so.

Dear Saucy circa 2007,

Cry. Let it out. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal and you don’t have to be strong for anyone else. Also, get on that medication and to a counselor sooner rather than later. There’s no shame in admitting you need help. You’re about to lose some friends but that’s ok because you’re also about to learn who your real friends are. The friends who will take your phone calls in the middle of the night when you’re feeling scared and lonely. The friends who will invite you to everything that they do just to get you out of the house (Go! Meet new people – it will be fun!). Soak up this time with your family. I know being around Sis and BIL is tough right now but it’s just as hard for them because they don’t know what to do or say either. When BMan is born, it will save your life so cherish this time while he’s incubating. Sis is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to your health and she’s willing to help – all you have to do is ask.

I know you feel that throwing yourself into taking care of your diabetes seems like a good idea right now (and it is!) but someday you will learn that only one things really controls diabetes. That one thing? Is diabetes. You will struggle for years to come about how to best deal with this disease. You’ll look back at your diagnosis and say, “It was so easy then! Why is it so hard now?!” That’s because right now you will only take time for your diabetes so in the future when you have a “normal life” again you won’t be able to devote the same time & energy. But take it easy on yourself. Super control is not a cure. You will have many ups & downs, trials & tribulations and joys & sorrows. It’s all part of the diabetes roller coaster. It doesn’t really get any easier, but you will learn to cope. And you will meet some great people through the DOC who will make you feel like you are not alone for the first time in a long time.

You will meet boys – lots of boys. You will make mistakes. These mistakes will shape you and change you and that’s ok. You are 26 years old and have been with one man since you were 17. It’s natural to be curious. It’s natural to experiment. But don’t lose yourself. Don’t let the men you meet shape your definition of yourself. Don’t make them the most important thing. YOU are the most important thing in your life and please don’t EVER lose sight of yourself. In a few months, you will meet a certain boy. He will treat you like a princess and it will feel like that happy ending you’ve wanted for so long. You need this. Jump right in, feet first. It will be some of the sweetest love you’ve ever known. He is tender and kind and careful with your heart. Warning, he will break your heart too – but you know this. You will know it from the moment you meet – but ignore that nagging voice and go for it. It will be hard but you need this. You need to take time to work on your mental health and this is what will push you to finally get well. I know I could’ve said stay away from him but you know we don’t believe in regrets. Any bad decision is a lesson learned. You still have so much to learn. And one day, when you’re feeling particularly sad and alone, you will meet someone new. In the most unlikeliest of places through the most unlikeliest person. But you will meet him. And he will complete you. It won’t be an easy road but one that is more worth taking than anything you’ve ever done before. Don’t give up, even in those moments of doubt. He loves you. He loves you for who you are, not who he thinks you can be. He will test your sanity & your patience but you both will pass this test and create something more phenomenal than you can ever dream of. Your heart will be happy and your mind will be free. He will help make you stable and not because he wants it for himself, but because he wants you to be just as happy with who you are as he is. And that is the biggest gift that ANYONE has ever given to you. You will realize that while you’ve loved before, you’ve never loved like this. It’s an incredible partnership and for the first time, you will feel like an equal in every aspect of your relationship. Just hold on girl because this boy will make everything that you’ve endured worth it.

Hang in there sweet girl. It’s tough, I know! But you will make it through this a stronger, happier & healthier person. And remember, crying and asking for help? It’s ok – DO IT.


❤ Saucy


Thankful on Thursday 6/24

A big shout out to Nish over at The Outdoor Wife for creating this wonderful idea! I think I’ll be doing this for a long time 🙂


1.) I’m thankful for my nephews. Thankful for JD who smiles his big toothless grin anytime someone talks to him. Thankful for Bman who offered to take me for a ride to see the birdies the other day. And played hide & seek in a restaurant booth. And needed help washing his hands.

2.) I’m thankful for FF who helps me keep it all in perspective when all I want to do is throw a tantrum.

3.) I’m thankful for CDEs who know when their patients are in trouble and are able give them diabetes supplies when money is tight.

4.) I’m thankful for summer which means beaches, picnics, BBQs & bare feet. It also means learning new things, like disc golf

5.) I’m thankful for the wonderful community of friends I have made through Twitter. I’m also thankful FF has joined the dark side.

6.) I’m thankful for cute manis and pedis – the DIY kind that are cheap. Oh and with this, I’m thankful for boyfriends who will help with said mani/pedi because your hands shake too bad to do it yourself.

7.) I’m thankful for Netflix on the Wii. If you don’t do this, you should. You’re missing out!

8.) I’m thankful for 2 packs of SPF 30 sunscreen in aerosol cans from Target. I have to protect this fair freckled skin!


What are you thankful for? XO