You Can Call Me Saucy



Marriage – what’s the point?


I was listening to my favorite radio station this morning on my way to work and they had a listener who called in with what I feel was a great question. She’s been with her boyfriend for 5 years and is beginning to feel a lot of pressure from her mother to get married. The problem? She doesn’t want to get married. She feels like she has everything she needs & wants right now and would rather not have to worry about getting divorced. So the DJs got to talking and trying to figure out the advantages to being married. There’s the obvious legal factors such as life insurance, health insurance etc. But what are the emotional benefits to getting married? That’s a great question.

I’ve been married. I did it because it was the next logical step in my 7+ year relationship. I did it because I had always dreamed of being that beautiful bride walking down the aisle and smooshing cake in my groom’s face (there was no smooshing actually – I wish now there was though!). I did it because it’s where my life was meant to take me. I did it without reservations. I did it without fear of divorce. I did it without even considering the legal & financial benefits.

So why do people get married? Is it because of tradition? This is totally taking over my mind right now! I will say, I want to get married again. I have no fears about divorce even though it’s happened to me before. In fact, I have no doubts about marrying FF. I would do it tomorrow (hell, I’d have done it yesterday if he would have asked!). And not just because I want another wedding but because I want God & the world to know I give myself completely to this man. I give myself to him knowing I can trust him and that together we feel as if we can take on the world. I give myself to him because I am committed to loving him forever. Through the good and the bad, the happy & the sad and all the millions of feelings in between. I know how much work a relationship AND a marriage take and I have ALWAYS been willing to put forth that effort. That is even more true now than ever as I have seen how that hard work pays off.

So, what advice would you give to that radio caller? What are the reasons for getting married? What are the reasons for just staying in a committed relationship that is not legally binding? What are the drawbacks to either of these things? There is no right or wrong answer, it’s a truth everyone must find for themselves. I’m just very curious to know your opinions 🙂 XO

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Comments

  1. * Holly says:

    I think marriage, when it is entered into in the right mindset and intentions (meaning committed to one another, forever, til death do you part no matter who crappy it seems), can be a real blessing to both parties. But not because marriage makes you “happy”, but it makes both better people because it forces you to become sacrificial and selfless in caring for someone else. That’s not always fun, necessarily, but it shows a deep commitment and love towards one another that’s hard to comprehend. Even those who have had seemingly crappy marriages but have worked through it, I think they would tell you that it’s definitely something worth fighting for.

    And besides the obvious benefits that you’ve already mentioned before, I love being married because it gives me a since of security knowing that Trey has promised to love me forever and take care of me. I don’t have to maintain any type of performance for him to stay with me. He could have made the same commitment without getting married, but I think it means much more because being married means something more sacred and permanent. I like this quote from German theologian Dietrich Bonho, “[I]t is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”

    P.S. I smooshed the cake on Trey’s nose at our wedding. 😉

    If you’d like to get into this discussion more, you can PM me on FB.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 8 months ago
    • * saucyredhead says:

      I agree with everything you say! I think for me a lot of people expect me to be jaded because I’m divorced. I’m not (well, I suppose I am to a point but not in this instance) and I embrace everything that marriage entails – even the tough stuff (because how else do you reallize how lucky you are if not for the tough stuff?!). I’m so glad you & Trey are happy 🙂

      | Reply Posted 6 years, 8 months ago
  2. * Miranda says:

    I got married because I believe strongly that God meant for us to be in relationship with one another. I don’t think divorce is prevalent because marriage is a bad idea. It’s HARD – and I think you have to make a choice every single day to love your spouse and to be IN love with your spouse.

    I am sure that I got married more as a result of my belief and faith in what God designed marriage to be than for any legal reasons. Yeah, we even waited to have sex until the big day.

    I got married because my husband is my best friend. He’s not at all who I thought I would end up with, but he loves me unconditionally and inspires me to be a better person. Even though we’re kind of a mismatch, we fit together in life perfectly.

    And I think that even though it will undoubtedly be the hardest thing I’ll ever do, and the statistics are stacked against me – being married and doing life with someone else is more appealing to me than going at it alone. 🙂

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 8 months ago
  3. * emvandee says:

    We got married because we just really liked each other. We were living together, which was a problem for Spouse’s religious parents, but we didn’t really feel a need to get married.

    In the absence of all of the traditional reasons to get married – neither of us want children, neither of us relies on the other financially, neither of us is religious – we felt that marriage was more of a choice, and quite possibly the most romantic expression of our feelings for one another.

    It’s because we didn’t need to get married that we decided to get married. Because the driving decision was “hey, I like you, and I’m quite confident that I’ll like you forever and even if I don’t this still feels like the right thing to do and we’ll work at it if it’s trouble later on,” we enjoy it, and aren’t burdened by it. It’s work, and sometimes a huge pain in the ass, but ultimately is up there in my top 3 best decisions ever.

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 8 months ago


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