You Can Call Me Saucy


Wordless Wednesday


Since I posted a letter to my younger self on Monday, I thought today I would post a picture of a younger me…a MUCH younger me

I was probably about 3 here...and now you know why one of my nicknames is, "Messy"

And just so you know, my looks haven’t changed a bit. See for yourself…

This picture was taken in 2007...which is the time frame I referenced in my letter to myself.

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I’m a Superfan!


A little over a month ago you may recall me using social networking in order to win a contest. Rickina at Stick Me Designs was looking to build her Facebook Fan page and put her beautiful products on the line. The person who helped get her the most fans (using Facebook & Twitter) would be rewarded with well over $100 in merchandise. I had just discovered her online store through Adriana and I was positively drooling in anticipation. I looked at FF and said, “I’m going to win this competition!” I posted Facebook status updates begging my friends to become a fan. I did the same via Twitter AND my blog. It all paid off because ::drumroll:: I won!!!!! So, to really thank Rickina, I wanted to share what I won. This is also to thank all of you who helped me win.

What Rickina does is something special. There’s such a niche here that few people have taken advantage of. I deal with needles & test strips & insulin & blood glucose readings every day – as do millions of Americans (and millions more world wide). The road we travel is bumpy and winding and there is no end in sight. So, anything that can make caring for yourself and your diabetes seem not quite so bad is welcome. Carrying my supplies in a Stick me Designs Deluxe Bag helps me with this. It’s cute & sleek and everything is one place! I don’t have insulin pens in one place, glucometer in another, used sharps somewhere else. It’s ALL TOGETHER! That in and of itself is a timesaver. Plus, this bag is sooooo cute! Here are some pics (please excuse the blurriness – my actual camera is not working so well right now so I had to use my phone – sorry!):

Cute, stylish AND functional!

 The package I received from Rickina came like this:

Holy crap!

It was all wrapped in some nice cellophane paper and had a nice handwritten note attached

Nothing says customer service like a handwritten note!

So inside the box I also received two of her small bags (I LOVE the patterns!), a t-shirt (she’s working on her own line of D t-shirts – this one said, “Got Insulin?” – how cute!), some Bioflip containers (for holding used test strips – genius!), a beautiful bracelet (see it here. She kindly resized it for me because I was wrong about my wrist size and I can’t take a picture of it while it’s on!) and a couple sugar free lollipops (yummy!)

Bioflip – even this is cute!
These patterns are AWESOME!

             

So now that you’ve seen how great her stuff is, let me tell you how great Rickina is. First off, she let me interview her for this post – shaweet! Secondly, she listens when her customers ask for something. I told her I was going to start training for a 5K (using Couch to 5K – started last night! Rough!) and I needed something stylish AND functional to hold all my “stuff” (glucometer, phone, water, emergency sugar etc.). She is currently working on something and I know a certain someone that is pumped to be a “guinea pig” for it! Also, I mentioned to her a need for something to hold used sharps. I have sharps containers at home and at work but when I’m on the go it’d be nice to have them in one place – kind of like the Bioflips. So, she’s also working on that! How awesome?! Below, read the answers to some other questions I had for her:
 
How long ago did you start Stick Me Designs?
 
I started SMD back in 2007.
 
What provoked your interest in creating diabetes accessories for PWDs?

I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes while pregnant with my son Ace. It was July, 3 days before my birthday…and my glucose tolerance came back way above normal. Hello Diabetes. Once I got over myself and accepted this change I started paying attention to that horrible black case that came with my ultra slim…it did nothing for my self esteem and was a bit embarrasing.I vowed to find a more upbeat colorful version. Only thing I found was navy blue. I then set out to make my own. And then I thought maybe someone else would like one too, when I asked my new tudiabetes friends a few wanted the one I sewed myself! I knew at that point I was on to something.

Where do you get your design ideas from?

As far as designs, I love handbags and the function of well-made ones. I’ll think of a design sketch it or put a sample together. Then I take it to my husband,customers,fans, followers and see what kind of reaction I get.  If it’s good and they express a need or want for it, it’s a go!

 Any insights into what the future holds for new products & designs?
 
I’d like to move the Stick me brand into a full collection of diabetes lifestyle gear. From goodies for the kiddos, to awareness smart sarcastic tees, to classy handbags, to small little bags and accessories. All with the active PWD in mind!
 
So thanks Rickina for everything – for all you do, all you create and all of us whom you help feel a little more classy in our disease. Do you or someone you know have diabetes? Check out Rickina’s online store and pick up a gift for yourself or someone you love! XO
 
**My gift was already received when I wrote this post. I was not compensated for praising Rickina’s work – I did so of my own volition because I think what she does is great**

A Letter to Myself


I saw Joanna & Tiffany discussing this on Twitter and I immediately knew I wanted in! They’re doing a blog hop that asks you to write a letter to your younger self. At any age & for any reason. So I’m going back to what was easily the most difficult time in my life. It was three years ago and I had a new heartbreaking diabetes diagnosis, a marriage in shambles and a sister who had everything I wanted while my life was falling apart. I made it through alive (and better than ever if you ask me!) but there are definitely some things I know now that I wish someone would have told me then. So, I’ll take it upon myself to do so.

Dear Saucy circa 2007,

Cry. Let it out. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal and you don’t have to be strong for anyone else. Also, get on that medication and to a counselor sooner rather than later. There’s no shame in admitting you need help. You’re about to lose some friends but that’s ok because you’re also about to learn who your real friends are. The friends who will take your phone calls in the middle of the night when you’re feeling scared and lonely. The friends who will invite you to everything that they do just to get you out of the house (Go! Meet new people – it will be fun!). Soak up this time with your family. I know being around Sis and BIL is tough right now but it’s just as hard for them because they don’t know what to do or say either. When BMan is born, it will save your life so cherish this time while he’s incubating. Sis is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to your health and she’s willing to help – all you have to do is ask.

I know you feel that throwing yourself into taking care of your diabetes seems like a good idea right now (and it is!) but someday you will learn that only one things really controls diabetes. That one thing? Is diabetes. You will struggle for years to come about how to best deal with this disease. You’ll look back at your diagnosis and say, “It was so easy then! Why is it so hard now?!” That’s because right now you will only take time for your diabetes so in the future when you have a “normal life” again you won’t be able to devote the same time & energy. But take it easy on yourself. Super control is not a cure. You will have many ups & downs, trials & tribulations and joys & sorrows. It’s all part of the diabetes roller coaster. It doesn’t really get any easier, but you will learn to cope. And you will meet some great people through the DOC who will make you feel like you are not alone for the first time in a long time.

You will meet boys – lots of boys. You will make mistakes. These mistakes will shape you and change you and that’s ok. You are 26 years old and have been with one man since you were 17. It’s natural to be curious. It’s natural to experiment. But don’t lose yourself. Don’t let the men you meet shape your definition of yourself. Don’t make them the most important thing. YOU are the most important thing in your life and please don’t EVER lose sight of yourself. In a few months, you will meet a certain boy. He will treat you like a princess and it will feel like that happy ending you’ve wanted for so long. You need this. Jump right in, feet first. It will be some of the sweetest love you’ve ever known. He is tender and kind and careful with your heart. Warning, he will break your heart too – but you know this. You will know it from the moment you meet – but ignore that nagging voice and go for it. It will be hard but you need this. You need to take time to work on your mental health and this is what will push you to finally get well. I know I could’ve said stay away from him but you know we don’t believe in regrets. Any bad decision is a lesson learned. You still have so much to learn. And one day, when you’re feeling particularly sad and alone, you will meet someone new. In the most unlikeliest of places through the most unlikeliest person. But you will meet him. And he will complete you. It won’t be an easy road but one that is more worth taking than anything you’ve ever done before. Don’t give up, even in those moments of doubt. He loves you. He loves you for who you are, not who he thinks you can be. He will test your sanity & your patience but you both will pass this test and create something more phenomenal than you can ever dream of. Your heart will be happy and your mind will be free. He will help make you stable and not because he wants it for himself, but because he wants you to be just as happy with who you are as he is. And that is the biggest gift that ANYONE has ever given to you. You will realize that while you’ve loved before, you’ve never loved like this. It’s an incredible partnership and for the first time, you will feel like an equal in every aspect of your relationship. Just hold on girl because this boy will make everything that you’ve endured worth it.

Hang in there sweet girl. It’s tough, I know! But you will make it through this a stronger, happier & healthier person. And remember, crying and asking for help? It’s ok – DO IT.

XO

❤ Saucy

 


Momma’s Munchies 6/28/10


Happy Monday! Well, not really happy, but it is Monday. So without further ado, let me present you with these weeks Momma’s Munchies recipes. Lindsey over at Waking Up Williams started this a few weeks back & I’m having a blast. This week’s recipe is a favorite 4th of July recipe. I’ll be honest, I didn’t have one. So I set out to find a recipe that sounded yummy – and one that I WILL make for the holiday weekend. It’s sweet AND red, white & blue! I now present a Brownie & Berries Dessert Pizza! Enjoy

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1 box (1 lb 6.5 oz) Betty Crocker® Original Supreme brownie mix
  Water, vegetable oil and eggs called for on brownie mix box
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups sliced fresh strawberries
1 cup fresh blueberries
1 cup fresh raspberries
1/2 cup apple jelly
1. Heat oven to 350°F (or 325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease bottom only of 12-inch pizza pan with cooking spray or shortening.
2. In medium bowl, stir brownie mix, pouch of chocolate syrup, water, oil and eggs until well blended. Spread in pan.
3. Bake 28 to 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted 2 inches from side of pan comes out clean or almost clean. Cool completely, about 1 hour.
4. In small bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar and vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Spread mixture evenly over brownie base. Arrange berries over cream cheese mixture. Stir jelly until smooth; brush over berries. Refrigerate about 1 hour or until chilled. Cut into wedges. Store covered in refrigerator.
High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): Follow High Altitude directions on brownie mix box. Use 14-inch pizza pan.I’m hoping to do another post today that;’s part of a blog hop started by Joanna over at Raising Madison. I’ll be writing a letter to my younger self. It’s going to be a tough assignment, but I’m looking forward to it! XO

Random Friday #1


Here’s some stuff I learned/found/discovered this week:

The PS22 Chorus. These kids are phenomenal!!!! So inspiring to see a teacher that gets their students so involved!

Midi Mafia – heard a blip about these guys somewhere. I don’t necessarily dig the video but I love the song!

We had Father’s Day breakfast at Apollo Diner. It’s a new place just 20 minutes or so north of me. I had the Philly Cheese Steak Skillet. It was a little intense for me – but my brother in law enjoyed it!

I played my first game of disc golf last weekend. It was fun but A LOT of work. I was exhausted and only made it through a few holes. It was a beautiful day and the scenery was grogeous. And this is the course we played at.

I’ve discovered Cosmo has great recipes – who knew?!

This post by my friend Allison that mimics Glamour’s monthly column “It’s Ok” – this one is tailored for diabetics. I added graphics and printed it to hang up at my desk AND on the fridge

We’ve been watching Stand Up Comedy viat Netflix for Wii and it’s been hysterical! My favs? Lynne Kolpitz on Comedy Central Presents and the Roast of Bob Saget. Hilarious!

Well folks, I did it! 5 posts in 5 days! I’ll be following the same schedule next week & I bet I might have at least one day with multiple posts. Here’s what you can look forward to:

Monday – Momma’s Munchies with Waking Up Williams – this week’s theme: favorite 4th of July recipes

Tuesday – DBlog day – an interview with & review of Stick Me Designs

Wednesday – Wordless Wednesday

Thursday – Thankful on a Thursday (created by The Outdoor Wife)

Friday – Random Friday – where I share the best of what I learned/found/discovered over the course of the week

Have a great weekend! XO


Thankful on Thursday 6/24


A big shout out to Nish over at The Outdoor Wife for creating this wonderful idea! I think I’ll be doing this for a long time 🙂

 

1.) I’m thankful for my nephews. Thankful for JD who smiles his big toothless grin anytime someone talks to him. Thankful for Bman who offered to take me for a ride to see the birdies the other day. And played hide & seek in a restaurant booth. And needed help washing his hands.

2.) I’m thankful for FF who helps me keep it all in perspective when all I want to do is throw a tantrum.

3.) I’m thankful for CDEs who know when their patients are in trouble and are able give them diabetes supplies when money is tight.

4.) I’m thankful for summer which means beaches, picnics, BBQs & bare feet. It also means learning new things, like disc golf

5.) I’m thankful for the wonderful community of friends I have made through Twitter. I’m also thankful FF has joined the dark side.

6.) I’m thankful for cute manis and pedis – the DIY kind that are cheap. Oh and with this, I’m thankful for boyfriends who will help with said mani/pedi because your hands shake too bad to do it yourself.

7.) I’m thankful for Netflix on the Wii. If you don’t do this, you should. You’re missing out!

8.) I’m thankful for 2 packs of SPF 30 sunscreen in aerosol cans from Target. I have to protect this fair freckled skin!

 

What are you thankful for? XO


Wordless Wednesday 6/23/10


Here’s my first Wordless Wednesday post. That’s kinda hard for me – the wordless part that is 🙂 Below you’ll find two pictures of some beautiful scenery from when FF took my disc golf virginity

A lilttle bridge over some water made completely out of logs - so cute!

FF knows my love of waterfalls...so he snapped this picture

That’s all for today (ok wordless is hard but these posts are easy!) Make sure to come back tomorrow for my first Thankful on Thursday. XO


An open letter to Novo Nordisk


Dear makers of my Novolog FlexPen,

A few weeks ago, I had a problem with my pen. I came home sick from work one day and when I checked my sugar, it was almost 300. Per usual, I took a bolus. Then I took a nap. I awoke feeling very groggy & thirsty so I reached for my glucometer. A few drops of blood, some beeps from the machine & then…some expletives from my mouth. I was at almost 500mg/dL! All I’d done was sleep and the sickness I was feeling was a headache & shouldn’t have made my sugars jump. I reached for the pen again and when I found a suitable spot to inject, I tried but something was off. The plunger seemed “off.” I can’t describe it except to say it went faster than normal. I decided to do a 2 unit air bolus to make sure it was working. Dialed up the pen to 2 units. Pushed the plunger. Nothing. Tried again. Nada. Dialed up to 10 units just for the heck of it. No dice. I immediately grabbed a new pen out of the fridge and successfully took a correction bolus. Then, I found your number and I called your customer service.

There was no long wait time. I don’t remember if I had to push 1 for English or any of that (the after nap stupor+ super high blood sugar affected my memory apparently). I was quickly speaking to a customer service rep (sorry I don’t remember her name!) and I told her I had a pen malfunction. I walked her through what happened. She then told me there were a few questions she had to ask. “Go for it” I said. First she asked if I had performed an air bolus. Check. She asked if I had stored my pen with the needle still on. “Of course not.” I responded. “I remove the needle after each use and put it in my end table nightstand desk sharps container.” She asked if I was sure I removed the cap after each use. I tried to remain calm when I explained myself AGAIN. Then she asked what brand of needle I was using. “BD ultra fine short pen needles.” Her response was, “Oh, that’s probably the issue. We don’t recommend using those needles. We suggest you use the NovoFine.” Understandable. However, I have been using the Novolog/BD combination since my diagnosis three years ago but I’ve never had this problem. So I’m feeling as if I’m being accused of being a bad diabetic. Hello?! Don’t you think I take enough crap from myself, my doctors, my family & complete strangers? Are you a PWD? Do you know how much work it takes? Well, let me tell you. I may not always perform an air bolus (who can afford to waste the insulin?) but I always remove my needles after using them (and I don’t reuse them either – unless I forget to restock my kit in which case once in a while I may have to do it. But I don’t make it a habit because it hurts – a lot!). So after the run around she told me I had to speak with someone in another department regarding my safety because of my elevated glucose levels. I was transferred to another woman (who’s name I also don’t remember – I should write this stuff down!) She asked if I needed a report sent to my doctor about what happened. “No, I can take care of it. Thanks.” She went through a few more questions (made sure I had more insulin to take and that I took another bolus – done and done). Then she told me to hang on to the malfunctioning pen. They would send a replacement to my pharmacy and I would exchange it for the bad one. All in all, I was a little distressed after the first customer service agent and her silly questions but I know everyone has a job to do. I was told it would take 3-5 days to settle this. Honestly, I was pleased to be getting a replacement. My sole intention when calling was to alert you of the malfunction in case you were noticing a trend. Getting a replacement pen was icing on the cake.

About 3 days later my pharmacy called to tell me my replacement was in. I headed down with that nasty no good pen. When I got to the pharmacy, I was expecting one single pen. I got a brand new box of 5 y’all!!!! It was  like Christmas!!!! I immediately forgot how frustrated I had been with that first customer service agent (honestly, I had forgotten a few hours after the call. For the record, she wasn’t rude and I know she was just doing her job). So I just want to pass word along that Novo Nordisk did me right. When I have an extreme experience with something (good or bad), I tend to share it with everyone I know. So consider this a pat on the back Novo Nordisk. I don’t make many trips to the pharmacy where I leave with a perma-grin on my face.

Sincerely,

An extremely pleased PWD


It’s Monday!


So, I’ve been starting a lot of drafts lately but I haven’t really written anything in a while. I plan on following in some of my favorite bloggersfootsteps for at least the next few weeks so it will get me writing. Hopefully using some discipline will help get my creative juices flowing once again. So you can count on me for at least 5 posts a week – and when something happens, I’ll post an additional entry. So here’s what you can expect to find over the next few weeks when you stop in to see me.

Monday- Momma’s Munchies – brought to you by LCW at Waking Up Williams 

Tuesdays – diabetes talk. I need to devote one day a week to just discussing diabetes. I will share information I’ve received or just rant/rave on what’s going on with my health.

Wednesday – Wordless Wednesday – a pic is worth a thousand words. I’ll post a pic (or two!) on Wednesdays that has to do with my mood. I don’t know – I’m gonna give it a try.

Thursday – following in the steps The Outdoor Wife I’ll be writing a Thankful on Thursday post every week. I think this will be so much fun!

Friday – Random! This will most likely be a culmination of the top things I’ve seen/heard/found that week. I plan on talking about music, movies, restaurants, websites and all sorts of other fun discoveries I’ve made. Depending on how this goes, I may add a new page to put all links/reviews in one place. I don’t wanna get ahead of myself though.

So, I’m putting a lot on my plate but I”m excited. I’ve found some memes and some conversation topics I may use as well. I enjoy writing so much but haven’t had the discipline to do as much as I’d like. So let’s see how the next few weeks go and hopefully I’ll be back in the swing of things in no time. And now, Momma’s Munchies!

 

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Today’s Momma’s Munchies is Dips! Who doesn’t love dip? Heck, I prefer dip at home so I can double dip and not get the side eye. I even have a certain dip that FF turned me on to and it’s now called “crack dip” in our house because once it’s open – it’s gone. The dip recipe I chose for today though is more based on the season. It’s a sweet dip for fruits. Berries are EVERYWHERE right now so this is a great dip to go with them. It’s great for entertaining, picnics or just having around for when the mood strikes. PS – it’s SUPER easy

8 oz softened cream cheese

8 oz marshmallow creme (I use Fluff – easy & tasty)

Mix the two ingredients together and let chill for a few hours in the fridge. I particularly like to serve this with fat, fresh strawberries. When entertaining, I also put out a few small serving bowls (I like pinch bowls the best.) I put crushed nuts (peanuts usually) in one, flaked coconut in another and mini chocolate chips in the other. That way you can dip your fruit and then put another topping (or two! or three!) on just for fun. This is great for kids and adults alike. Enjoy! XO


Rant


Today I have to write about something that’s been on my mind which bugs me. It bugs me because it’s something that shouldn’t. It bugs me because I am truly happier than I have ever been and I’m not going to let anyone knock me down. It bugs me because, well, just because! This thing that’s bugging me? My ex husband. I suppose he needs a name. Let’s call him BDNF (this is Mamacita’s nickname for him – it stands for Big Daddy No Fun and is pretty hilarious – and true!) Let me start at the beginning.

BDNF and I have known each other since 1st grade – no lie. I even have a picture of us together on the first day of school. His dad worked with my mom when he was born so my mom even held him as a baby. Sounds like fate right? Right?! Yeah, not so much. As usual throughout school years our friendship waxed and waned. He moved away to Florida to live with his dad in 8th grade. he came back not even a year later. Our friendship really began to blossom at that point. By senior year he was my best friend. We would meet and chat every morning before class and we’d hug & laugh. He made it very clear he wanted more from our friendship but I simply wasn’t interested. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I went to him when I lost my virginity. I went to him when I thought I was pregnant. I went to him whenever yet another boy broke my heart. I dated his best friend. I lusted after another of his friends. I continually brushed off his advances. Yeah, I was pretty much a terrible friend.

I’m not really sure when things changed between us but shortly after graduation, we decided to give this relationship business a shot. I went away to college that fall. He visited once a week and I came home every weekend (my school was less than two hours from home). He joined me at college for a year and a half. When I moved home (halfway through my senior year – this story needs its own post – trust me) we moved in together. Six months later we got engaged. Two years later we were married. We were a great couple for the most part (when I’m able to look back at the good times). We enjoyed entertaining. We loved the same music (we were at concerts almost weekly for a while). We had a bond that went back years before our marriage and a relationship that was 7 years in the making before our wedding. (side note: Twitter Wedding Blog Hop scheduled for Friday 6/18. Click here for details. I still have some wedding photos but I won’t be participating in this blog hop – for obvious reasons) Then things went downhill.

I will spare you the details because it’s not important anymore. What you need to know – I suspected he was cheating. I called him out on it & he denied it. I was diagnosed with diabetes and he wouldn’t cancel plans for some volunteer work (with the girl, whom I will refer to as Homewrecker or HW, I suspected he was cheating with) so that he could help me transition and deal with this crushing news. He was my husband after all – in sickness and in health right? We went around and around with the fighting for a few days so I moved out and moved in with my parents. We talked for a few weeks about how to save our marriage but he wasn’t interested – flat out told me it wasn’t worth saving. I found out less than 6 weeks after we separated that he had in fact been cheating on me – for months (as I’d suspected.). I was devastated. I could tell you the funny stories involved with me discovering his infidelity (I threw a water bottle at him because I’m totally mature) or the day I moved all my stuff out (stolen lightbulbs. Broken glass on the bathroom floor and I took the broom. You get the point – I lost my shit) but there’s no need. Maybe someday when I need a post idea and I feel you all could use a chuckle then I’ll do it. Anyway, it was ugly. I was losing not only my marriage but a lifelong friend. I felt like everything had been turned upside down. Black was white. Off was on. I was all kinds of messed up (and yes, I was on meds and in therapy – thank God!) It was simply terrible but a time in my life that I am grateful for how much I learned (like how much I could handle & who my real friends were) and how much I grew.

In April, it had been 3 years since the separation (divorce final in November of 2007). My relationship with BDNF now is…wierd? I don’t know how else to describe it. Because we’ve known each other so long and because of what we shared and how long it’s been (plus where I’m at in my life now) I feel its ok to talk once in a while. FF is understanding of this which makes it easier too. We chat every once in a while about things that only he would understand (when my teacher passed a few weeks ago – he had the same teacher. It was easy to talk to him and share memories with him.) However, sometimes I get text messages from him that are so inappropriate and it makes all those bad, mean, nasty, no good feelings come back. Here are some examples:

  • When I went through my first post-divorce breakup, BDNF & I had started speaking occasionally again. He started calling me and telling me that him and HW were having problems. He made it sound as if she was cheating on him. Now karma is a bitch and I know this. Part of me felt bad, the other part was singing “Hallelujah” and dancing around the living room. He deserved this! He deserved worse than this. After about a week of the phone calls and the crying I couldn’t take it anymore. “What do you want from me? What do you need me to do? You need to tell me what’s going on.” That’s when he told me he had cheated on her. Huh? Excuse me? You think its acceptable to call your ex-wife and cry because you cheated on the girl you cheated on her with? Um, excuse me. Pull your head out of your ass. We didn’t talk for a long time after this -pretty much because I told him to get lost. And put a leash on his dick to keep it in his pants (manwhore!)
  • He knew I was getting a Penguin Plunge logo tattoo. His brother was a Special Olympian (and a big draw for my interest in that organization) and he was there the first few years of me plunging. When I sent him the pic, he answered, “now I have a pic of your ass on my phone. Nice!” What.the.fuck?! seriously dude? You lost all rights to comment on any body part of mine when you started sleeping with that fat ass no good piece of trash. You had this for NINE YEARS and you threw it away. Now, someone else gets to benefit. Someone who appreciates me, loves me and would NEVER dream of being unfaithful.
  • He got a cat a few weeks ago and sent me a pic. We rescued two kitty brothers a year before we got married. I took them in the divorce (I did it because I didn’t want him to have them and I loved them so much. He wanted me to have them because HW was deathly allergic – pffft). One kitty ran away almost two years ago. The other one? I had to give him away when I moved in with FF because we’re not allowed to have cats. I offered money and time if my sister or mother would keep him at their house but it just wouldn’t work. In a last ditch effort I called BDNF and he “couldn’t take him.” Wouldn’t offer an explanation. But less than a year later I get a pic of his cute kitten? Fuck off!
  • I got a text the other night that I haven’t responded to (and most likely won’t). It said, “Patrick Fitz August 5.” Now, doesn’t sound like much to you right? Well, Patrick Fitzsimmons was a somewhat local folk artist we discovered together and both fell in love with (the hardest part of our divorce? Who got what music. I kept Chad. Yay!) Anyway, so Patrick Fitzsimmons is coming to town. Kinda cool but not really my thing these days. Also, August 5 would be our 5 year wedding anniversary. He knows this. He’s doing it to push my buttons. I’m aware of this but I hate that it still gets to me. Stop checking in on me. I know dates (i’m a flipping walking calendar – ask any of my friends).

So this is just a sampling. Am I wrong to be upset? I am sooooo happy with my life now and I’d love to just move on. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to BDNF anymore? I’ve tried that, it’s hard. Our lives and friends are still so intertwined and most likely always will be. I’m grateful for FF and how he helps me put things in perspective. But I feel bad when I get frustrated about BDNF. I don’t feel like it’s right to go to my boyfriend to bitch and complain about my ex husband. I don’t want him to feel that he is not enough or that I’m not over BDNF. Let me say, I did love BDNF at one time. I also don’t regret marrying him (because of what I learned). I just want to figure out how to keep him in my life as an acquaintance ( I don’t even wanna be his friend) and not let him push my buttons.

Any other divorcees out there? How do I handle this? How do you handle it? Anyone else have any crazy ex stories? I’d love to hear em 🙂 XO

 

 P.S. – BDNF & HW are no longer together. She figured out what I meant when I told her, “If he’ll do it with ya, he’ll do it to ya.” There’s that karma again. I also would like it known that this girl was a friend of mine. I don’t blame one more than the other. They both had a hand in this happening. But they did deserve each other – they’re both immoral. And fat. Just so ya know. It makes me feel beter and hey – this is my blog right? So yes, I’m still bitter even though I wouldn’t change a thing. I guess it’s a pride issue. Hopefully that will heal in time too.