Make The Low Go
In keeping up with Diabetes Blog Week (did you know there are over 100 D-Bloggers participating?! Awesome job Karen – you should be proud!) it’s day two. Here’s the prompt for today’s entry
Making the low go. Tell us about your favorite way to treat a low. Juice? Glucose tabs? Secret candy stash? What’s your favorite thing to indulge in when you are low? What do you find brings your blood sugar up fast without spiking it too high?
As a diabetic, I always fear the low. I fear the way it feels. There’s no way to describe what happens, but I’ll try. It starts with a fire in my gut. It’s hunger and heat at the same time. I find myself famished. Like belly growling, would kill a chicken with my bare hands to eat it kind of hungry (you’re welcome for the mental image). And that fire? It grows into this kind of heat from the center of my body to top of my head and tips of my toes. The sweat faucet turns on and my lower back, cleavage and upper lip (sexy!) are soaked. My hands shake so that I can barely use my lancing device let alone get some blood on the strip. It’s terrible and all I wanna do is pour sugar down my throat to make the nastiness stop. And also, to make the black dots stop multiplying every time I blink. I repeat over and over, “You can do this. You’re in control. You won’t pass out. Get. Food. Now.”
Most of the time, I can handle a low on my own. For the most part, I have glucose at arm’s length. I keep a glucose tab holder on my key ring (saved me more than once!). There are juice boxes in the fridge at home and in my desk drawer at work. In my desk drawer you’ll also find little packs of peanut butter crackers. Crackers are also in my cupboard next to raisins. On long car rides you’ll find any combination of those foods. Most of the time, I want a peanut butter sandwich but sometimes I just don’t think I have time to make one (although nights where I feel I may have over bolused – I take a peanut butter sandwich and juice box to bed with me – just in case I want breakfast in bed).
My problem when I’m low is that I am in complete panic mode but on auto pilot at the same time. I don’t like people to see me when I’m low. Besides the obvious sexiness that it involves, I want people to know I am responsible. I don’t want them to think A. – she should have better control and this wouldn’t happen or B. – Oh God, what if she passes out? I don’t think I could handle that. So I put on this face like it’s all ok, nothing bad is happening. People close to me know what to look for and are willing to help (and sometimes I even let them!).
Anyway, back to the auto pilot. I mean no disrespect here (see, apology in advance) but when I’m low, and alone, I will binge. Like a bullimic. But I won’t purge. I feel like I can’t get food into my mouth fast enough. I feel like the sugar is saving my life and I need to make sure I survive. Herein lies the problem. The after low swing. I find it hard to eat the 15g of carbs and then wait. And then test. Then 15g. Then wait. Then test. It takes too long and I feel like crap. So I eat, then I eat, then I eat. Then I deny I did anything wrong. Then, an hour later, I test. Then I bolus…and fear the low again XO